We didn’t start the flame war! No, really…we didn’t! But College Humor Originals released a pretty funny video that is a relatively accurate depiction of flame wars in today’s user-generated, online commenting world. For those of you that are too young to remember, the song is based on Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start The Fire.

We Didn’t Start The Flame War Video (College Humor)

We Didn’t Start The Flame War Lyrics by College Humor

First post fucking gay
second post go away
stupid picture
simpsons did it
south park did it too.
ROFL copter really stupid
I dunno, I kinda like it
I hate Mindy
I hate Cindy
I hate fags and jews.

Who’s the girl in that pic,
I want her to show her tits.
So gross, no wonder why
girls don’t come to this site!

This picture FTW, I’d bone the girl in it.
I’d bone your mom.
You bone your palm.
Oh snap, epic pwnage!

We didn’t start the flame war,
Peeps were hatin’ on it
‘fore I left my comment.

We didn’t start the flame war,
Let the whole wide world know
I’m a big old asshole.

Saw this on another site.
Photoshop’d am I right?
Hard to see, but I agree.
dugg down cuz it sucks!

how’d this garbage
make it to the frontpage?
users from their site
came and dugg it up.

Stolen from XKCD,
Buried for inaccuracy.
if you’re gonna call bullshit,
post a link to prove it.

Ron Paul 2012!
he can’t win, don’t jizz yourself.
He’s got a chance.
Yeah, in France – bet you’d vote for Palin!

We didn’t start the flame war,
Peeps were hatin’ on it
‘fore I left my comment.

We didn’t start the flame war,
Let the whole wide world know
I’m a big old asshole.

Who wants a free iPod?
Just follow this link.
God, spammers in this thread
Are such massive dickheads.

Oh my god, watch my vid,
crazy funny fat kid.
Eat my ass you fucking troll,
what an asshole.
Rick roll’d.

Gay-ay-ay
You guys know who I hate?
people who are mixed race.
also mexicans, redheads, and asians.

why r u guys so racist.
why r u guys so racist.
double post, my bad.
this kid’s a noob fag.

what’s your problem douchebag?
ur the ass, fucking fag!
your a fag!
you’re a bitch!
all of you can suck my dick!

We didn’t start the flame war,
Peeps were hatin’ on it
‘fore I left my comment.

We didn’t start the flame war,
Let the whole wide world know
I’m a big old asshole.

asshole.
asshole.
asshole.
asshole.
asshole.

Billy Joel – We Didn’t Start The Fire

Hey honey, let’s get married on a pool! Doesn’t that sound amazing? Uhhh….yeah, not so much. I’m wondering if this whole bride falling in a pool thing was staged or not. I know people do silly and stupid things all the time, but really? Regardless, this is pretty funny to watch. Basically what happens is the best man slips, trips, and falls down on the bride, then the bride falls in the pool. Even some of the reactions sound genuine…I don’t know, you be the judge. Did the bride really fall in the pool on accident?

Bride Falls in Pool Video

Do you think this was all a big set up or did the bride really fall in the pool on accident?

The Great Schlep, Sarah Silverman, Barack Obama, and Jews have a mission this election…to win Florida! So make the great schlep over to Florida and tell your grandparents to vote for Barack Obama! Sarah Silverman has done a great job with this video. It’s fairly entertaining without being too silly or stupid. It’s hard to ignore all the support for Barack these days. I mean, really…does John Mccain have a chance? Where are all his supporters? I hear more about Palin these days than John Mccain…kind of disappointng.

Sarah Silverman’s Great Schlep Video for Obama

The Great Schlep Transcript by Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: If you knew that visiting your grandparents could change the world, would you do it? Of course you would. You’d have to be a douche-nozzle not to. Hey, it’s Sarah…(long pause)…Silverman.

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: If Barack Obama doesn’t become the next president of the United States, I’m gonna blame the Jews…I am. And I know you’re saying like, “Oh my God, Sarah, I can’t believe you’re saying this. Jews are the most liberal, scrappy, civil rights-y people there are.” Yes, that’s true. But you’re forgetting a whole large group of Jews that are not that way, and they go by several aliases. Nana, Papa, Zaide, Bubbe, plain old grandma and grandpa. These are the people who vote in Florida. And the Florida vote can make or break an election. If you don’t think that’s true, why don’t you think back to two elections ago when a little man named Al Gore got fucked by Florida.

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: I’m making this video to urge you, all of you, to schlep over to Florida and convince your grandparents to vote Obama. It can make the difference. Explain to them that we’re all the same inside. You know you could compare an elderly Jewish woman like Nana to a young black man. They may seem totally different, but on paper they’re the same.

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: I mean think about it…track suits! Let’s start there. They both love track suits. They can’t get enough of them. Uhhhh…what else. Car of choice? The cadillac. They’re both crazy about their grandkids. What else? They…they like things and bling and money and jewelry and stuff. Uhh, they both say “yo” all the time. Or Jews go right to left…”oy.” Uhh, what else? They…umm…all their freinds are dying.

Black man: No…no…(leaves)

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: That is true in general.

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: You know why your grandparents don’t like Barack Obama? Because his name sounds scary. It sounds Muslim…which he’s obviously not. Yes, Barack Hussein Obama…it’s a super fucking shitty name. But, you’d think that somebody named Maneschevitz Guberman might understand that.

Sarah Silverman & the great schlep: The name Barack is Hebrew word…it means lightning. And I would much rather have a president who’s name means lightning than a president named John whose name means toilet or a guy who fucks hookers.

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: Here are some fun facts: Barack Obama’s foreign policy is much more stabilizing than John Mccain’s…and much better for Israel. He wants to protect social security. His brisket is beyond. It’s beyond. He’s circum-supersized.

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: You don’t have to use facts…Use threats. There’s nobody more important or influential over your grandparents than their grandkids…you. If they vote for Barack Obama, they’re gonna get another visit this year. If not, let’s just hope they stay healthy until next year.

Sarah Silverman & the great schlep: Barack Obama is the goodest person we’ve ever had as a presidential choice. He’s honest and he’s kind, and quite frankly, he’s probably our last hope of ending this country’s reputation as the assholes of the Universe. So, please go to this website and get your fat Jewish asses on a plane to Florida…Love, Nana.

Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: Let’s see…vote for Obama, gonna visit grandmama. Vote for Mccain, to me you’re a shit stain. I just made that up…off the top of my head. Yeah, I’m proud of myself.

Jon Lajoie’s “not giving a fuck” video is his most recent online video. And, as usual, it’s funny as hell. He always manages to work in something clever into the video. See if you spot it. Or, you can just NOT give a fuck and go jerk off or something….or you can NOT give a fuck about that and just lay there with your hand down your pants watching this video. Wait, that’s weird…but hey, who gives a fuck? 

Not Giving a Fuck Script/Lyrics 

Not giving a fuck voiceover: Are you stressed because of work, family, or relationship problems? Are you tired of focusing your time and energy on projects and activities without seeing any positive results? Do you feel like you have the weight of the world crashing down on your shoulders?

Not giving a fuck voiceover: Well, we have just the solution for you. Try…not giving a fuck!! Not giving a fuck improves your quality of life significantly by drastically reducing your capabilities of giving a fuck. Scientists have proven that the average human being gives 60 percent too much of a fuck about most daily activities.

Not giving a fuck voiceover: Why worry about your finances, your health, your health, your reputation, and the well-being of your friends and family when you can simply not give a fuck about those things!!

Not giving a fuck voiceover: You’ll be able to do things that you never thought possible…such as:

• growing a mustache
• wearing sweatpants in public
• peeing on children, then yelling at their parents for trying to stop you
• having hookers for lunch everyday
• masturbating with stolen cheese
• and much much more…

Not giving a fuck voiceover: Why give a fuck when you can NOT give a fuck? Just listen to these testimonies…

Cliff Baconcock (chair builder): I used to like chinese food, but now I don’t give a fuck.

Jon Lajoie (internet loser): Last night I drank two pints of gasoline and swallowed a box of birth control pills. For a couple hours I actually thought that I was Patrick Swayze. Not giving a fuck is awwwesome.

Steve (badass mothafucka): You want some of this bitch?
Jon Lajoie: No, no…you don’t give a fuck.
Steve (badass mothafucka): You want some of this bitch?
Jon Lajoie: No, you don’t give a fuck.
Steve (badass mothafucka): You want some of this bitch?
Jon Lajoie: Just, just say “you don’t give a fuck.”
Steve (badass mothafucka): Ah, you don’t give a fuck.
Jon Lajoie: Okay, nevermind.

Not giving a fuck voiceover: Beware of imitators such as not giving a shit, not giving a cunt suck, and Nick Nolte. Call now and get a free picture of this guy who clearly does not give a fuck. Start not giving a fuck today because seriously, who gives a fuck?

Not giving a fuck voiceover: Side effects may include daily wake and bakes, chronic masturbation, lack of masturbation, lack of motivation, and Marlon Brando.

This is pretty funny video I stumbled onto…Gabe and Max’s Internet Thing is spoof on infomercials, only this is an infomercial for the internet. Pretty funny stuff and some classic quotes. Learn how to send and receive emails, learn how to blog, what blogs are, and blogging in general, how to use the internet for pleasure, and much more. Hilarious!

Kevin Nealon makes a cameo approval, and Jack English advertises a new and better holiday…Fuck The Earth Day. So, after the hippies are celebrating Earth Day on April 22nd, the next day on April 23rd is now Fuck The Earth Day. A very funny video with some very quotable lines. Check out the lyrics/transcript to the “Fuck the Earth” Day advertisement below and you can read along as Jack English tells you to pour oil on a duck…classic.

“Fuck The Earth” Day script/lyrics by Kevin Nealon & Jack English

Kevin Nealon about Fuck the Earth Day: Hi, I’m Kevin Nealon and you might know me from…well, being famous. Anyway, I approve this message…as long as I get my $400 dollars. Happy Earth Day.

Jack English about “Fuck the Earth” Day: April 22nd…Earth Day. A day when people around the world go the extra mile to care for our delicate planet. A day to remember to recycle, to drive your Prius, to reduce your carbon footprint…and a day where I like to go around telling everyone I see, “Fuck the earth.” I’m Jack English and I paid for this ad to tell you about a new and better holiday…April 23rd – Fuck The Earth Day.

Jack English about Fuck The Earth Day: In the past several years, the Bush administration’s cast a lot of good doubt on liberal media myths like deforestation and global warming. And as a true patriotic American, I blindly follow what my wise elected leaders tell me. So on April 23rd don’t worry about what the hippy alarmists are saying and do what makes you feel good…leave your lights on…drive a hummer…pour oil on a duck.

Jack English about Fuck The Earth Day: Remember, global warming is just a theory…like evolution, or the metric system. I mean come on, if the globe was so warm, why was it so cold this winter? In my opinion, the earth’s gone a bit soft these past few years. What we need to do is slap it around a bit…make earth our bitch. What’s the worst thing that can happen? We flood some cities and destroy the food chain? Learn to swim. And eat fuckin’ rocks people. Swim. And eat rocks. Happy Fuck The Earth Day.

Kevin Nealon: Mike, where’s my $400 dollars?

Supposedly, Dinosaur Rap (lyrics below) by Whitest Kids U’ Know (WKUK) is the first rap song about getting high with dinosaurs. This is probably true, though I’m not 100% certain. Either way, the Whitest Kids You Know are certainly claiming that accomplishment with their latest song, Dino Rap. If anyone has ever rapped about dinosaurs, my first guess would be Outkast.

Regardless of who rapped about dinosaurs first, this NYC comedy troupe has been putting out some funny material, so you’ll be seeing more of their stuff here as I’ve caught myself laughing at their material more often these days. “You’re welcome…internet.”

Dinosaur Rap Song – Whitest Kids You Know (WKUK) 

Dinosaur Rap Lyrics by Whitest Kids U Know (WKUK)

Okay, it’s Guinness Book of World Records time. This is the first rap song about getting high with dinosaurs.

I smoke a joint tonight, I smoke a joint tonight.
Me and all these dinosaurs are blazin blunts tonight.
We blazin blunts tonight, We blazin blunts tonight.
Me and all these dinosaurs is on a hunt tonight.

I’ll only spit this one time so let me take it slow.
I started to get high about an hour ago,
but then the buzzer rang and I looked out the peephole
It was a whole bunch of raptors and they just won’t go.
I stepped back and the knocks I just tried to ignore
Thought I was safe but they knew how to open doors
and without even asking they just came on in
They started smokin’ my weed and then they called their friends.

I smoke a joint tonight, I smoke a joint tonight.
Me and all these dinosaurs are rollin’ bones tonight.
We rollin’ bones tonight, We rollin’ bones tonight.
Me and all these dinosaurs is gettin’ stoned tonight.

I smoke a spliff tonight, I smoke a spliff tonight.
Me and these dinosaurs is gettin’ freakin’ ripped tonight.
We gettin’ faced tonight, We gettin’ faced tonight.
And all these dinosaurs is crashin’ at my place tonight.

An Allosaurus in the corner tryin’ to pack the bong,
Hot boxin’ in the john with a pteradon .
And Now a compy and a stega startin’ to get it on,
But I can barely move because this weeds’ the bomb.
A anklysaurus makin’ smores and eatin’ lucky charms,
The pterodactyl took my whole bag of pepperidge farms.
T-rex just went and set off the fire alarm
and now he can’t get it out because he’s got little arms.

I smoke a joint tonight, I smoke a joint tonight.
Me and all these dinosaurs are rollin’ bones tonight.
We rollin’ bones tonight, We rollin’ bones tonight.
Me and all these dinosaurs is gettin’ stoned tonight.

Now my neighbor’s on the phone and said she called the cops
and this really freaked out the triceratops.
He’s tryin’ to climb out the window and we yellin’ stop
cause I’m on the fifth floor and it’s a heck of a drop.
We heard a knock and then the cops said they wanted in
Then the cirolliphus tried to go and talk to them,
but he made things worse cause he reeked of weed and gin
but luckily the laphasaurus quickly jumped on in.
They said we were too loud and that folks were in bed.
The laph’ told the cops we would be quiet and said
But then they shined the light and asked why his eyes were red.
We were busted, so thats when he bit off their heads.

I smoke a joint tonight, I smoke a joint tonight.
Me and all these dinosaurs are rollin’ bones tonight.
We rollin’ bones tonight, We rollin’ bones tonight.
Me and all these dinosaurs is gettin’ stoned tonight.

I smoke a spliff tonight, I smoke a spliff tonight.
Me and these dinosaurs is gettin’ freakin’ ripped tonight.
We gettin’ faced tonight, We gettin’ faced tonight.
And all these dinosaurs is crashin’ at my place tonight.

Yeahhh

first rap song about gettin’ high with dinosaurs

you’re welcome… internet

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton get together to perform “Under Barack Obama” their version of Rihanna’s Umbrella. There’s some really funny parts in this Umbrella parody by the folks at MadTV. Watch this parody and you may never look at Obama and Clinton the same way again….

Under Barack Obama Lyrics – Obama, Clinton Umbrella Parody

Barack Obama: Uh-huh uh-huh, uh-huh uh-huh. Yo, my girl Hillary former First Lady, will she be president? Who knows, maybe. Yo, Barack Obama! I’m a black democrat, no I ain’t no punk, Hillary’s a hot mama. She’s got her eyes on the prize and I’m talkin’ bout my junk. Hillary, where you at?

Hillary Clinton: I’m in the front, but what I want…is a little bit of mandingo love. Bill had Monica playin’ him like a harmonica. So can I be blamed if I want to get some strange? Yes I am a firm believer in some hardcore jungle fever. He’s my boy I am his girl. Hells yeah, we’re both down with the swirl. We may have differed on Iraq, but noone’s stiffer in the sack. I can’t lie I that’s why I wanna be under Barack Obama, Bama, Bama, ay, ay, ay, under Barack Obama, Bama, Bama, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay ay. The polls have me in the lead, but your pole’s the only one I need.

Barack Obama: Girl you’re making me really hot. I’m gonna put my ballot in your slot.

Hillary Clinton: Pour your chocolate rain on me, and I’ll make you my VP.

Barack Obama: Gonna put my lovin’ on ya.

Hillary Clinton: I wanna be under Barack Obama, Bama, Bama, ay, ay, ay, under Barack Obama, Bama, Bama, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay ay.

Hey, bartle doo!…Crowla mctowlin wit a McSandwich n a McFluffin? Well hey, you can’t win all.

What’s that? You slept with my boss? And you’re going to Cancun together? I know what I have to do now. I’m gonna fuck your mom. Yep, I’m gonna have sex with your mom.