The Great Schlep, Sarah Silverman, Barack Obama, and Jews have a mission this election…to win Florida! So make the great schlep over to Florida and tell your grandparents to vote for Barack Obama! Sarah Silverman has done a great job with this video. It’s fairly entertaining without being too silly or stupid. It’s hard to ignore all the support for Barack these days. I mean, really…does John Mccain have a chance? Where are all his supporters? I hear more about Palin these days than John Mccain…kind of disappointng.
Sarah Silverman’s Great Schlep Video for Obama
The Great Schlep Transcript by Sarah Silverman
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: If you knew that visiting your grandparents could change the world, would you do it? Of course you would. You’d have to be a douche-nozzle not to. Hey, it’s Sarah…(long pause)…Silverman.
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: If Barack Obama doesn’t become the next president of the United States, I’m gonna blame the Jews…I am. And I know you’re saying like, “Oh my God, Sarah, I can’t believe you’re saying this. Jews are the most liberal, scrappy, civil rights-y people there are.” Yes, that’s true. But you’re forgetting a whole large group of Jews that are not that way, and they go by several aliases. Nana, Papa, Zaide, Bubbe, plain old grandma and grandpa. These are the people who vote in Florida. And the Florida vote can make or break an election. If you don’t think that’s true, why don’t you think back to two elections ago when a little man named Al Gore got fucked by Florida.
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: I’m making this video to urge you, all of you, to schlep over to Florida and convince your grandparents to vote Obama. It can make the difference. Explain to them that we’re all the same inside. You know you could compare an elderly Jewish woman like Nana to a young black man. They may seem totally different, but on paper they’re the same.
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: I mean think about it…track suits! Let’s start there. They both love track suits. They can’t get enough of them. Uhhhh…what else. Car of choice? The cadillac. They’re both crazy about their grandkids. What else? They…they like things and bling and money and jewelry and stuff. Uhh, they both say “yo” all the time. Or Jews go right to left…”oy.” Uhh, what else? They…umm…all their freinds are dying.
Black man: No…no…(leaves)
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: That is true in general.
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: You know why your grandparents don’t like Barack Obama? Because his name sounds scary. It sounds Muslim…which he’s obviously not. Yes, Barack Hussein Obama…it’s a super fucking shitty name. But, you’d think that somebody named Maneschevitz Guberman might understand that.
Sarah Silverman & the great schlep: The name Barack is Hebrew word…it means lightning. And I would much rather have a president who’s name means lightning than a president named John whose name means toilet or a guy who fucks hookers.
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: Here are some fun facts: Barack Obama’s foreign policy is much more stabilizing than John Mccain’s…and much better for Israel. He wants to protect social security. His brisket is beyond. It’s beyond. He’s circum-supersized.
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: You don’t have to use facts…Use threats. There’s nobody more important or influential over your grandparents than their grandkids…you. If they vote for Barack Obama, they’re gonna get another visit this year. If not, let’s just hope they stay healthy until next year.
Sarah Silverman & the great schlep: Barack Obama is the goodest person we’ve ever had as a presidential choice. He’s honest and he’s kind, and quite frankly, he’s probably our last hope of ending this country’s reputation as the assholes of the Universe. So, please go to this website and get your fat Jewish asses on a plane to Florida…Love, Nana.
Sarah Silverman, the great schlep: Let’s see…vote for Obama, gonna visit grandmama. Vote for Mccain, to me you’re a shit stain. I just made that up…off the top of my head. Yeah, I’m proud of myself.
Yo, Muttis and Tuttis,
Did you vote your first Muslim American President into the WH, did you? Did you like the mess he made for you by turning it into a WC? How is the status of your retirement savings today, eh? How much are your 401K, your IRAs, your CDs, annuities and other savings earning you these days, eh? Are they giving you the expected supplemental retirement income you were hoping for? Remember what Hussein said recently? If you have a successful business YOU did not work for it! According to his “Dreams from My Father” mentality it was earned on the backs of slave labor! Did you really do that? My Jewish friends worked hard for what they got. I worked with them. All the while Obama was lavishing his croonies with millions of dollars of your tax money. And now the old Jewish retirees have to withdraw from the principal of their savings because they are not earning them any additional income. Remember the saying “NEVER AGAIN!” Shall we apply it in this occasion? By the way, is that little shmutshen sill living at home with you leaching off mutti an tutti? The little Trotzky-ite. Shalom, and “Remember in November”!
Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord.